


Second Guessing

by ScullyLovesQueequeg



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Complete, Ficlet, Gen, Possibly Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-25
Updated: 2013-11-25
Packaged: 2018-01-03 15:00:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1071811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScullyLovesQueequeg/pseuds/ScullyLovesQueequeg
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Scully wonders about her relationship with Mulder.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Second Guessing

He’s driving again, and it’s dark, but she doesn’t complain because every day is like this. He is driving slow, but not obviously so. She folds her arms over her chest and rests her head on the window because she is tired and they have been in the car for 4 hours.

"It could be a werewolf," He says and she glances over at him, her full attention becoming his. He almost always has her full attention. He doesn’t return the look because he is thinking, but he continues, guessing her look, "but I don’t want to jump to any conclusions."

"A werewolf," She repeats, hearing how the word hangs on the air and the scoff that isn’t expressed following it. She doesn’t scoff because she respects him, more than he could ever guess, but at the same time, she doesn’t believe what she hears. People get the two confused. He doesn’t. "Based on what evidence?"

"Evidence left at the scene. Eye witness accounts. Plus the fact that it is a full moon. It’s easy to forget in the city but out here, it’s all you really can think about." But it’s not what she’s thinking about. Not now. Right now, she is thinking about how his jawline flutters when he thinks, and how the corners of his eyes crinkle as he squints when he stands outside for too long. She thinks of the way his lip protrudes when he pouts, even slightly and how they feel when he brushes them against her forehead.

His figure is tall without being imposing, and lanky without the clumsiness. His wit is dry like his knuckles, but tells of an insecurity that has taken him years to hide. Insecurity that took her all of a month to find. It leaks like a sieve if he talks for too long about something and hangs at the end of his words, which explains why he tries not to speak unless he has to. She speaks even less.

He continues talking, but she takes back her attention, instead pouring it into something else and letting the sound of his voice lull her into a sense of security. Her lids drop slightly, and she hears him chuckle.

"Sleepy?"

"A little. Sorry. What were you saying?" She asks and he smiles, understandingly, and his head lifts a little as he chuckles again. Watching him do this makes her stomach flutter gently.

"Nothing important. Why don’t you rest a little? It’s going to be a long drive." He says and this sounds like a good idea.

"No," She says, sitting up a little and lowering her window slightly. "I’m fine, actually."

Her mind is pondering over her life choices: the choice to remain on the X-Files and the career that she has all but thrown away to help Mulder’s cause. She ponders all the casualties of his quest, and counts her blessings that she is not one of them. She almost was; she remembers this and frowns so deep that Mulder asks,

"Everything okay?"

She pauses; she wants to tell him: _Mulder, I am in love with you and all your quirks but I am concerned that if I continue with you on this quest, I will be just another name on your litany of those killed for your cause._

Her answer is slow, as if she had debated not telling him and then changed her mind at the last minute.

"Mulder, I…" Her courage wavered, and she felt silly, so she instead says, "I’ve just been thinking about how just two weeks ago, I was dying."

He says nothing because this is true; she was literally on her deathbed, and now here she is, still pale, her pretty hair still thinning, and bags under her eyes. She looks fresh out of the hospital, and it scares him but he shrugs, because she’s getting better, and getting her strength back. She eats, and can hold down her food again. She doesn’t tire easily, and sometimes, she even smiles. She knows this about herself.

"I never thanked you for being there for me. I appreciate it. It means more to me than I could find the words to express. Someday, I’ll be able to find a way to reciprocate it." She says, glancing over at Mulder, and for a moment, he takes his eyes off the road and glances at her. Her eyes meet his and she is satisfied that the underlying message,  _I’d do the same for you,_ is understood by Mulder. _  
_

"Y-you don’t need to thank me. You’re my partner, and more importantly, someone I consider a friend. As you can see, I don’t have many of them, so it’s a big deal when they suddenly decide to shuffle off this mortal coil." He says this flippantly, and she smiles, because she knows that he says it to make her smile. But inside, she frowns because she wants to repay the favor.


End file.
